My name’s Matt and I’m a little weird.
*sits down to gentle applause from the group.
This statement is true and I accept that. Because weird just means unusual – not the mainstream. And for me, that’s good. The more we become at ease with who we we can be more authentic.
When we can be more authentic on a deep personal level then the more open, relaxed and happier we become.
What’s more, the most successful people in the world have always been a little weird.
Not in a geeky, awkward way but they usually had little care for what others thought of them.
Muhammad Ali, Marlon Brando, Steve Jobs, Vivienne Westwood, John Lydon, Tracey Emin, Jesus, Gandhi – all charismatic outsiders, all a little eccentric, all rebels who didn’t care what the world thought about them. They had laser-focused minds and were so in touch with their vision that they didn’t feel they had to prove anything to anybody.
They were too focused on their vision to care, too excited about achieving their goals to worry. Unfazed by what others ask of them.
It behooves us to take heed of this. Whoever we are. If someone tries to push our buttons, we don’t have to rise to it.
We always decide how we show up to the world and we alone hold the power over the meaning we give to things, and our reactions.
ACT DON’T REACT
When we become our best selves we don’t rely on others to feel good about ourselves. We create motivation and happiness from within. We act because we are driven to, not because something provoked us.
Being reactive and trying too hard isn’t giving to the world. It’s taking. It’s dull, uncreative, boring.
Its easy to be the same as every single other person. The real challenge is allowing yourself to just ‘be’. To hone who YOU are authentically – and embrace your weirdness.
When we’re happy to let people make their own minds up about us and are comfortable to be seen as a little enigmatic and different to everyone else we immediately stand out.
When we become unapologetically ourselves, and give our truth to the world, everything becomes so much more fun and engaging and freeing.
We can start this by noticing and being conscious of how we feel in situations.
The next step is to cultivate a position where you are someone who is unapologetic about their place in the world.
It’s time to be more authentic!
To be bold.
To be YOU.
We cannot be truly happy and successful until we know who we are as people.
When we take the time to align with ourselves fully it means we never have to do anything for the sake of it, or worse, because we think that’s the way others expect us to react.
If people think you’re a little weird, go with it, in fact we can use this to our advantage.
Silence is your friend.
A quick way we can do this is to practice the art of silence, or more importantly, never fearing silence.
Don’t be in a rush to fill a gap in the conversation.
By being this way we allow the whole process to slow down a little which, in turn, allows better communication and a new deeper connection with our truth and other peoples.
From now on, when there’s a pause, rather than nervously trying to fill the silence – try taking a deep breath, acknowledging it and then just…waiting.
This shouldn’t be about a battle of wills of course, but about simply ‘being’ with the other person, without feeling the need to talk.
Sometimes the most amazing connections we create with another person are when we share silence together.
I know as a coach that a lot of the most powerful moments I’ve had with clients is when I’ve slowed everything down and given them the space to find the insights they need.
Silence is where magical things happen. Where miracles occur.
When we learn to enjoy silences in conversation we demonstrate how confident and relaxed we are, and how different we are from most people, who are all so desperate to prove themselves.
When we’re calm and comfortable with ourselves and the situation we don’t have to fill every moment with chatter.
When we trust in ourselves to slow down and enjoy the silence those we are with pick up on this and suddenly the whole mood shifts.
Everything becomes more relaxed, we’re more in tune with each other and the moment, and ultimately we can connect on a more personal level.
By taking a step back and slowing down our interactions we can relax into the moment.
Sometimes that split second of real presence is all we need to connect with who we are.
When we do this we can then choose to act from a place within ourselves not because of some outside influence.
We choose withIN, not withOUT.
So try it yourself next time you experience a gap in a conversation; take a deep relaxing breath, enjoy the silence and just be; allowing your best, weirdest most unique self to show