I wanted to share my week with you as if you’re having a similar one it might help.
Because I’ll be honest this week hasn’t been great for me; I’ve felt pretty down, dealing with Christmas stress. Feeling, anxious, unhappy, confused and frustrated, not in that order and not all the time, but some of the time and sometimes all at once.
Now it’s very easy when you get in this low level of consciousness (call it mood, mindset or whatever feels best for you) to start looking outside of yourself for reasons why you feel that way.
And to be honest that’s exactly what I’ve been doing, depending on the hour these feelings looked like they were being caused by the weather, my lack of motivation, all the workload I’ve taken on, a tricky re-edit section of my book, a prospective client who seemed like a hell yes, but disappeared after I sent him the invoice – or my bank balance, or the looming Christmas expense, or 1000 other things.
But the thing is, it wasn’t any of those things that made me feel this way. Sure I was tricked into believing they were the cause – but really, if ALL those things were the cause, why did they only look like they were some of the time?
And when you really sit and think of it, how can the weather make me feel anything?
If it had those powers the country would grind to a halt on a rainy day.
Manchester especially would crumble to dust…
So what was the variable?
Well, as always the missing link was my thinking, it wasn’t what I was looking at that made me feel anything, it was the thought glasses I’ve been looking through all week.
And the thing is we can never ever control our thinking, despite what some might have you believe.
And our feelings are always the flip-side of our thoughts. And to try and work out the cause of the feelings by looking outside of us means we just get more and more caught up in our stressful thinking and make ourselves feel worse.
But here’s the thing, whilst I always know this on an intellectual level, I still often get tricked into thinking its things outside of me causing me pain.
And when I get tricked this way I go into victim mode, I go into blame mode.
My consciousness lowers and I find it even harder to get out of the spiral of crappy thinking.
I knew this too, but I was still tricked by it, like we all are.
It all looked really real to me.
But all that was happening was I was getting really caught up in my personal thinking, looking for blame and creating things out of nothing and making them look really real to me.
So from feeling glum I went outside of myself to look for answers, and this had me start to build a snowman of thought. And the more I built the bigger and more real he looked.
I kept piling on more and more thoughts, forming the nose, the coal for eyes, until my idea of what was real for me took form. I could see it – THIS was the cause of my mood, this thing I had given form to in my mind, this snowman, who just needed a top hat of self-doubt and a scarf of insecurity to finish him off.
But when you catch yourself in this situation and start to see that this is just a snowman of form that you have created yourself, it means you are more able to step away, to allow it to thaw away…
And like a snowman it might take a few days for the ideas to fully thaw away, they might slowly slump down, the scarf falling away, the carrot wilting, getting smaller and smaller….but it will thaw, it will clear again.
If you let it.
Because what we normally do is keep packing more and more snow onto the snowman, to keep him alive and sturdy in our minds. Something big and real we can look at. And this just perpetuates this thought form, sometimes forever. But you built it. It isn’t real. It just looks real.
You can be even luckier and not have to wait long at all for your snowman to thaw. This happened yesterday for me. Sit with someone you love, allow yourself to laugh despite the frustration, allow yourself to get really present and in the moment, open yourself up to life, stop being so clenched up around your ideas of yourself.
When you do this your consciousness (mood, energy, mindset) can’t help but raise.
When you do this your mind can’t help but clear a little.
When you do this those thoughts start to thaw like the snowman.
And when you allow your mind to clear you allow NEW thinking to appear.
New thinking that comes from your inspiration, and creativeness and wisdom.
Thinking that might take you off on a whole new adventure.
Because here’s the thing, it’s OK to build Snowmen. It’s fun even.
But when we start to believe Snowmen are real, or that they mean anything about us or our lives that’s when we get stuck, get into trouble and stay unhappy.
And apologies if I’ve confused the metaphors a bit here but I hope you get the gist of what I’m saying. The meaning isn’t in the words really, it’s in the insights that I hope this might stir in you.
Join the free Facebook Group for business owners, creators, coaches, innovators and anyone who is focused on being a creator rather than a reactor to life.
A supportive, fun and insightful network of like-minded people to help you become a better leader in your work, relationships and community